The Kettle Black (South Melbourne) 7.5/10

Hi howdy hello fellow cafe lovers!

Welcome back to Cards and Cafés! Hope you have all been well and hope you’ve been enjoying some good food. Today I will be reviewing the famous café The Kettle Black. This café is owned by the same people (Nathan Toleman and Tim James) that run and own Top Paddock and previous ran Two Birds One Stone.

Unlike the other cafés (Top Paddock and Two Birds One Stone) The Kettle Black menu brings a restaurant dining feel to a café like experience. The menu has a host of fancy meals with unique and creative ingredients that only usually be found in top restaurants. Unlike Top Paddock that provides a very homely menu, The Kettle Black will provide a unique experience unlike any other.

Like most cafés lately, I just happened to be in the area and walked into the café during lunchtime and only realised when I sat down which café it was. I had been working the day in the area, basically across the road from the café and the girls in the office and I decided to walk across for some lunch.

As I had been to both Top Paddock and Two Birds One Stone before (make sure you check my previous reviews on them) I was excited to give this place a go.


As I said before this café has a very interesting and unique menu that tries to bring a restaurant dining experience to a café setting. They offer a similar hotcake dish which can also be found at Top Paddock.

The Kettle Black Menu

The coffee was fantastic! One of the best that I have had in a while; I was so excited to try it that I took a sip before I took the photo. It was nice a warm and had a rich flavour. I would have to say that my coffee took longer to come out than the other girls on the table. We ordered the same coffee at the same time, but mine took almost five minutes longer. I would also have to say that it is slightly more expensive than other cafes in Melbourne.

Coffee rating: 4/5   4 out of 5

Latte ($4)

Due to us only have a 30-minute lunch break we had to order a quick and easy meal. Lets be honest if we had more time I would have ordered the hotcake, as I would have liked to compare them to the ones I had at Top Paddock. But instead we all ordered the seasonal avocado with circus, toast and local kelp salt. This was a great lunchtime meal and I would recommend it to anyone who is on the go. The meal came out very quickly; I think we only waited about 10 minutes which was great. The smooth avocado, which was served in its skin, spread beautifully on the crunchy toast. The kelp salt definitely added to the incredible flavour and helped marry the dish together.

It was a very filling meal and left me feeling quite full for the rest of the day.

I would have to say that it is quite pricey for half an avo and this price did make me cringe a bit, but so did most things on the menu. I would only be going to this café for a special occasion or a once off due to the unusual menu and the prices.

Seasonal avocado with circus, toast and local kelp salt ($13)
Seasonal avocado with circus, toast and local kelp salt ($13)


This would have to be one of the most beautiful cafés I have been to in a long time. It has these beautiful windows that just open up to their incredible outside area. We went on a warm Melbourne afternoon and sat next to the window and we had this cool summer breeze flowing through making us feel that we were back on our summer vacation.

There are plenty of tables both inside and outside, but if you are wanting to sit outside during those warmer months you definitely have to get there early as there is usually a high demand for those tables. All the furniture is incredibly beautiful and matches perfectly with the wood panelling on some the walls. The bench seating around the inside of the café makes for a comfortable spot to sit and enjoy your coffee and your ever so tasty meal.

The staff members are very friendly and welcome you with a warm smile. The service was reasonably fast (expect when I was waiting for my coffee), with our meals coming out in about 10 minutes.


Address: 50 Albert Road, South Melbourne, Melbourne, (Vic)

Phone: (03) 9088 0721

Operating Hours: 

Monday –Friday  –7:00 am- 4:00 pm                               

Saturday –Sunday – 8:00 am – 4:00 pm



Instagram: @kettleblackcafe

The Kettle black info

CAFÉ RATING = 7.5/10 

Have you visited The Kettle Black before? Tell me what you thought of it. Do you have any suggestions of cafe’s to visit?

Comment down below, I’m always looking for somewhere new to try.

Until next time,

Happy eating!

– Kim

Screen Shot 2016-03-14 at 4.38.07 pm

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